


You're Not A Murderer

by KahtyaSofia



Series: Captain's Blog - S2 [9]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: Episode Tag, Episode: Adam, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-17
Updated: 2009-11-17
Packaged: 2017-10-03 06:10:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KahtyaSofia/pseuds/KahtyaSofia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ianto wonders if Jack's faith is misplaced.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're Not A Murderer

**Author's Note:**

> Due to the way the ep 'Adam' ends, there isn't much that can be written (as far as my imagination goes) that won't mess with the canon of the team not remembering. I can't say these are true parts of the Captain's Blog grouping, but they had to be written. With this one, I had to justify Jack's surety about Ianto in contrast with my previous criticism of Gwen's same blind faith in Rhys. Read any book on a serial killer and you'll see Jack is right. Plus, I like to touch on Jack's dark side once in awhile.

Ianto sat in the same chair, in Jack's office, that he'd occupied during the aborted use of the lie detection device. He could still feel the warmth of Jack's hand, where it had grasped his shoulder, as the Captain had stalked past him.

"No. This is not you! Something's changed you. You're not a murderer! I'm certain of it."

Jack's words echoed in Ianto's ears, but he found he didn't, and couldn't, have the same faith in himself that Jack so obviously had in him. Ianto had faith in Jack, though.

He found himself moving to stand in the doorway to Jack's office. He wanted Jack to be right. Ianto watched as his captain stood at the workstations, just outside of his office, and typed intently. It looked to Ianto like he was searching through CCTV footage of the Hub. Ianto couldn't fathom what the CCTV could possibly have to do with the sick pleasure he had derived from squeezing the life out of those women.

Ianto stopped those thoughts and shook himself from his reverie. He spoke to Jack, grasping at the smallest glimmer of hope. "How can you be so sure I wouldn't do these things, Jack? I fooled you once before."

Jack's head snapped up at that, and he shot a hard look at Ianto. "I didn't know you then. Now I know who you are, and what makes you who you are."

Ianto began to walk slowly across the Hub. He'd let Jack do what he felt he had to, in order to make his case, but deep down, Ianto was sure Jack would end up locking him in the vaults. The memory of his hands curling around the soft throats, the choking sounds they all made once he'd stifled their screams. He loved the memory of the fear in their eyes, the way they trembled as he pursued them through the dark.

Ianto was repulsed by his own arousal at the memory of the violence. It was so vivid and his reaction so…prominent. How could it not be real?

Ianto found himself by the stairs and he sat down in his exhaustion, frightened by his own reactions to such horrifying memories.

"Jack, don't you remember the trouble Gwen caused with her blind faith in Rhys' innocence? You can't fall in to the same trap!" Ianto pleaded.

Jack's back stiffened as he turned to regard Ianto again. "If you had really done the things you think you have, you wouldn't be begging to be locked away. Your memories wouldn't frighten and disgust you. You'd get aroused reliving them." Jack turned back to the computer monitors. "Instead of begging me to lock you up to protect all of us, you'd be evading detection so you could keep on killing."

They both fell silent, and Ianto dazedly watched Jack work. After a long while, Jack spoke again. "It's not blind faith, Ianto. It's being well acquainted with evil. And you're not evil."

There was nothing Ianto could say to that. He watched Jack work in silence for several long minutes. Suddenly, Jack was dragging him to his feet, and over to the screens. Ianto resisted, fearing what Jack was going to show him, and not sure why. The strong hands of his Captain were compelling, supporting and soothing, for the few moments it took for Ianto to absorb the fact that he was not a monster.

On the heels of that realization, Ianto found that the truth was far from comforting.


End file.
